You don't have to hit rock bottom before you realize that it's time to reach for support.
What if one of the strongest things you could do as a leader is recognize that you need help?
Leaders are accustomed to being the people others depend on.
We solve problems.
We make decisions.
We carry responsibility.
We help other people navigate difficult seasons.
But when you've spent much of your life being strong for others, it can become surprisingly difficult to recognize when something has become too heavy for you to carry alone.
Years ago, while accruing hours toward becoming a licensed therapist, I had the opportunity to serve at the Salvation Army Adult Rehabilitation Center.
I provided individual therapy and couples counseling, facilitated anger-management groups, and worked with men in domestic-violence groups.
I've also personally participated in Regeneration (a 12-step discipleship and recovery program through my church) and have been exposed to Celebrate Recovery (a Christ-centered, 12-step recovery program).
Those experiences taught me something about change that continues to influence the way I think about leadership:
Transformation often begins with recognition.
Across many recovery communities, the first step involves acknowledging a difficult reality: Something in my life has become unmanageable, and what I've been doing isn't working.
Sometimes that realization comes after someone has hit what we call rock bottom.
An addiction has become unmanageable.
A marriage is falling apart.
Finances are collapsing.
Relationships are fractured.
Consequences can no longer be ignored.
Eventually, a person recognizes:
"I can't keep doing this by myself."
That realization can become the beginning of transformation.
But here's what I want every leader to understand:
You don't have to hit rock bottom before you recognize that you need help.
Self-awareness gives us an opportunity to notice what's happening before a crisis makes it impossible to ignore.
Maybe you're becoming increasingly irritable with the people you love.
Maybe you're exhausted, but you keep telling yourself to push harder.
Maybe your marriage has slowly become more distant.
Maybe anxiety is beginning to influence your decisions.
Maybe you're carrying a leadership challenge privately because you believe asking for help might make you appear incompetent.
Or maybe you've become exceptionally good at appearing strong while privately struggling.
Strong leaders can still need help.
Successful people can still need help.
People of deep faith can still need help.
Therapists can need therapists.
Pastors can need pastors.
Coaches can need coaches.
Executives can need trusted advisors.
Husbands and wives can need counseling.
Needing help does not disqualify you from leadership.
Sometimes refusing to recognize that you need help is what places your leadership, relationships, health, or future at greater risk.
Scripture reminds us:
"Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."
— Proverbs 11:14
Wisdom isn't knowing everything.
Sometimes wisdom is recognizing what you don't know.
Sometimes courage is acknowledging what you can't carry alone.
And sometimes the most responsible leadership decision you can make is recognizing that what you're facing requires resources beyond yourself.
There is an important distinction, however.
Recognizing that you need help and asking for help are not the same thing.
You can know something is wrong and still remain silent.
You can recognize you're overwhelmed and still refuse to reach out.
You can know your marriage is struggling and continue pretending everything is fine.
Next week, we'll take this conversation one step further and talk about asking for help.
But before we can ask, we first have to recognize.
This Week's Leadership Challenge
Take a few quiet minutes and ask yourself:
Where in my life am I trying to manage something alone that may require help?
Don't judge yourself.
Don't minimize what you're experiencing.
And don't immediately try to fix it.
Simply become honest enough to recognize it.
Because healthy leadership isn't pretending you have everything under control.
It's developing the self-awareness to recognize when you don't.
You don't have to wait until you hit rock bottom to recognize that it's time for help.
