Pursuing growth by intentionally cultivating self-awareness.
One of the questions people occasionally ask me is,
"Do therapists have therapists?"
The answer surprises some people.
Yes.
In fact, when I was working toward becoming a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, every hour I invested in my own therapy counted as three hours toward the 3,000 supervised hours required for licensure.
At the time, that sounded like an incredible incentive.
Looking back, I realized the greatest benefit wasn't accumulating hours more quickly.
It was gaining greater self-awareness.
Sitting in the client's chair taught me something I couldn't have learned from a textbook or a classroom. It reminded me that no matter our profession, experience, or education, we all have blind spots. Including therapists.
It also challenged one of the biggest misconceptions people have about therapy—that it's only for people whose lives are falling apart.
Certainly, many people seek counseling during some of life's most difficult seasons, and there is absolutely no shame in that. But some of the healthiest, most intentional people I've had the privilege of working with weren't in crisis at all.
They simply wanted to understand themselves better.
They wanted to become more aware of the thoughts, assumptions, emotional patterns, and habits that were quietly shaping their relationships, leadership, and decisions.
That experience has profoundly shaped the way I think about leadership.
Over the years, I've become convinced there are two kinds of leaders.
There are leaders who unknowingly lead from their blind spots.
And there are leaders who intentionally cultivate self-awareness.
The difference isn't intelligence.
It isn't talent.
It isn't education.
It isn't experience.
The difference is awareness.
The first leader often waits for a crisis to reveal what they couldn't see. A strained marriage. A fractured relationship. Burnout. A breakdown in communication. A loss of trust. Pain becomes their first teacher.
The second leader chooses a different path.
They invite honest feedback.
They reflect on their decisions.
They pay attention to their emotions instead of ignoring them.
They surround themselves with trusted people who have permission to speak the truth in love.
They understand that one ounce of prevention is worth far more than one pound of intervention.
Scripture reminds us,
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (Proverbs 4:23)
Guarding our hearts isn't about pretending we're unaffected by life or hiding from our weaknesses. It's about paying attention to what's happening within us so we can steward our thoughts, attitudes, motives, and actions wisely.
I've discovered that meaningful growth doesn't begin with action.
It begins with awareness.
Until we become aware of what's driving us beneath the surface, we'll often continue repeating the same patterns while expecting different results.
As leaders, parents, spouses, business owners, and followers of Christ, we all benefit from cultivating a posture of humility and curiosity. We don't have to wait until life forces us to examine ourselves. We can choose to pursue growth before growth becomes necessary.
That's one of the greatest gifts of self-awareness.
It allows us to make intentional, values-driven decisions instead of simply reacting to circumstances.
It gives us the opportunity to grow on purpose rather than by accident.
Purpose-Driven Insight™
Self-awareness isn't about becoming more critical of yourself. It's about becoming more honest with yourself so you can become the person God created you to be.
The healthiest leaders aren't the ones who have everything figured out.
They're the ones who remain teachable.
Who continue learning.
Who welcome wise counsel.
Who understand that becoming is a lifelong journey.
Reflection Question
As you reflect this week, consider one final question:
Are you waiting for a crisis to reveal your blind spots… or are you intentionally cultivating the self-awareness that helps prevent one?
